If I feel like I'm not wanted, I know it the second the hostess greets me. I don't sit around waiting for negative energy to settle in my bosom, because that is exactly what I won’t do!
I see it when I am seated, I order my meal first, and then white patrons come in after me, get seated after me, but somehow get their food served before I do.
Some of us experience this while shopping in high-end stores, where employees suddenly decide to follow us around every single aisle like we are under surveillance. It is a deeply degrading experience, and it is infuriating to be treated like a threat instead of a customer.
These scenarios happen to some of us whether we are in a luxury boutique, a high-end restaurant, a boutique hotel, or a local shop, but pointing this out is absolutely not about being a victim.
I am not looking for something to complain about, and I refuse to look at us as victims. I don't want Black women to feel like we are helpless or have to play defense.
What infuriates me, more than the people who look down upon us in the first place, is that constant qualifying ourselves.
Too often, when faced with that garbage energy, the immediate response for some of us is to start listing our credentials to people who aren't even on our level.
We find ways to intentionally drop into the profiling, on their part, that we have multiple degrees, that we work for a prestigious corporation, that we own our own successful companies, or that we have a massive following on social media.
We display our titles, our tax brackets, and our public platforms like a protective armor, using them as receipts to prove that we have the money and the right to be there.
We do this because we are offended, and we want to force them to realize they made a mistake, but it reveals a deeply exhausting truth.
We are actively qualifying our right to exist in a public space, and we are performing for our basic dignity.
By answering bias with a resume, we accidentally internalize the idea that only certain kinds of Black women deserve respect.
It implies that if a Black woman does not have a degree, or a corporate title, or a high net worth, then the poor treatment she receives is somehow permissible.
And when an establishment treats you exactly the way they feel about you, stop running to social media to complain about it.
When we take to our platforms to vent, cry, or list our receipts to the internet, we are still seeking validation from people who already showed us their cards.
We are still asking the public to agree that we didn't deserve it because of who we are.
Every single human being deserves to be treated with respect, kindness, and decency simply because they are a paying customer and a present person.
Our humanity is not something we should have to audition for, and our worth is not tied to how much we can produce, achieve, or buy.
We have to know our worth well enough to not have to qualify ourselves to anyone, ever.
The next time an establishment fails to see your value, remember that the problem lies entirely with their vision, not with your value.
Listen, Sisters, we have to stop asking for permission to occupy spaces we have already walked into.
We owe it to ourselves to stand firm without explanation.
We do not need to flash our credentials to buy a bag, check into a hotel, or eat an overpriced pasta meal.,
You never have to prove you belong in a room just to be treated like a human being.
It is time to protect our DOLLARS, peace, protect our energy, and STOP paying people to disrespect you.
EXIT!!
I Love Black Women. 💐 I Love Being Black. 🖤
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